What I Have Learned
from My Daughter
By Naomi Tanaka, teacher at Asahi High School, Osaka Fu
What
would you do if you were told that your child had leukemia, cancer of the
blood? You wouldn’t be able to
believe your ears. Neither could I
when I was told in the hospital room three years ago. The chief doctor added, “I wish she would smile again! Unfortunately she is too small to
endure the severe medical treatment, but we will do our best.” My daughter, Rie, was only five months
old at that time. I felt as if I
were watching a drama on television and I just wished the doctors were telling
a lie. Next moment all my power
was gone, and I lay down on the bed.
After the doctors left the room, my mother came in and told be to
believe that a miracle would happen.
She was trying to encourage me, but I noticed her eyes were wet with
tears.
At the beginning of her
stay in the hospital, I just grieved for what had happened to my daughter. I asked myself, “Why my daughter? Did she do something wrong? Why does she have to suffer? Why do we have to suffer so much?”
When I heard her crying because
of the bone marrow examination, without anesthetic, I felt as if it cut into my
heart. As she had to have a drip
infusion all the time, my husband, my sister and I used to sit up and take
turns to watch her in order to stop the needle from coming out of her arm. Her veins were so thin that her doctor
had to try again and again to put a needle into them. After about a week, a vein couldn’t be used any longer. She would try another one in the arms,
fingers, feet and even toes!
I don’t remember how many people
donated their blood to her. Though
my husband and I wanted to donate our blood to her, our type of blood was
different from hers. How helpless we
felt about that! On the other
hand, I did feel the kindness and warmth of the people who were willing to
donate their blood. Their blood
certainly made her live longer.
One day I got a letter from a
friend of mine in the United States.
He wrote me that life is like roses. If we are aware of the thorns, or sometimes hurt by them, we
can appreciate how beautiful the roses are. Yes, when we confront some events that are painful and even
overwhelm us, through struggling with these events, we can grow and become
stronger. We shouldn’t run away
from these trials. I’ve kept
another piece of very wise advice he sent me in my mind; “When you are given a
bitter lemon to swallow, then, make sweet, refreshing and cool lemonade out of
it.”
Nothing improves if we spend
every day just grieving about something.
My husband and I decided to spend each day as merrily as possible, to do
everything that we could for her, and to live positively.
She was interested in everything
she saw, observed everything so carefully and remembered it. One day I folded paper chairs of six
different colors for her. She
picked up each chair and told me whose chair it was. I wrote down our family’s names on the back of the
chairs. As she loved green, when
she picked up a green one, she pointed to herself. About two weeks later, I took out the chairs from the drawer
and showed them to her. To my
surprise, she began to say the names, picking each of them up. As I was not sure, I looked at the
names on the back and all of them were correct! My goodness, she was so smart for a one year old.
She had a keen sense of taste and
particularly liked melons.
Whenever she saw a melon, she was excited. She got a lot as presents and we often bought one for
her. But, as you know, they are
very expensive. One day we bought
a cheaper melon for her. As usual
she was excited to see it, but once she tasted it, she frowned and said, “No.”
Though she close her life when
only one year and ten months old, her way of living was marvelous. Whenever I feel like complaining about
something, I remember her. My pain
is a trifling thing compared with my daughter’s suffering. Such a baby endured many kinds of
painful medical treatment for more than a year! Why can’t I endure what happens to me? She is still alive in my heart and
encouraging me!!
I’ve learned three important
things about life from her. First,
how important life is. Second, we
should live life to the full whatever our situation may be. Third, by taking care of our own child,
I have realized how much love my parents gave me, and I have grown to
appreciate the kindness and support of friends and the people around me.
I’d like to thank God who has
given me the opportunity to give this valuable love to my second baby, the one
I’m carrying now.